i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
