I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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