i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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