If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
