I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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