chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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