u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
