I'd wear matching sweaters with you
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
