Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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