New invention idea: vibrating tampons
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
