We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Life is so much better after having sex.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
