im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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