This girl is more easily done than said...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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