Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
