I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
