i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
