his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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