In the future we'll all be gay
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
