Where is the hickey?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
don't judge my taste in strippers
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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