I hate all girls vehemently.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
