I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
