I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
sex in a hospital.. check
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
