I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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