Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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