So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
