so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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