Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Houston, we have a squirter
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
