Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
