Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
