sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
