we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
you made out with another girl for some wings
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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