I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
