i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
