so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
