...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
