I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
