that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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