I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
