Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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