Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
