ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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