is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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