I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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