too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
