you win again, gameday.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
