girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
