why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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