dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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