im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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