Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I love having hate sex.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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