My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
