I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
