Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
